Being Great

I have been wrestling with an issue the past few weeks. I haven't felt like I am really "great" at anything. Satan often throws this in my face, but this time, it has felt different, as if I was going to eventually learn something from it. You know how sometimes you have a nagging thought in the back of your brain, but it doesn't even make it to the surface and it certainly isn't a thought that has been prayed about. Well, that is what this "great" concept has been...wading beneath the waters of complete consciousness. Today, God decided to bring forth that thought and His answer to it as if it were a humpback whale surfacing...fast, shocking, and mighty majestic. He did this all without me even asking for an answer, which I think is so personal, loving, and good of Him!

I have struggled with feeling like I enjoy many things...and being decent at things, but not "amazing" at anything. I love to sing, but if I were great, I would have an album. I love to cook, but if I were great, I would have a cookbook. I love to take pictures, but if I were great, I would have a huge business. I love to be a wife and mother, but if I were great, I would have received some award along the way. :) I love to write, but if I were great, I would have a published book. Well, you get the picture. Part of my thoughts may have bordered on self pity and definitely self consumption...so bear with me as I am being honest!

My answer came via Beth Moore's study on Esther. She quotes Laura Fraser, "if your identity is wrapped up in the magnificent things you're destined to achieve...the thought that you might produce something mediocre can be devastating." If you tend towards being a perfectionist, as I do, then the thoughts of failing or doing something simply "good" may hinder you from doing something at all. This isn't good! Nor is it great!

And, oh, listen to this word! Personal greatness is an unworthy goal! We were meant to live for the greatness of GOD. Beth says, "every one of us who embraces the glory of God as our purpose will end up doing great things precisely because we do God-things. His holy hand resting on the least act renders the ordinary extraordinary. Spooning soup into the mouth of the weak or manning the nursery so a tired mom can go to church are acts of high worship when offered in the name of Christ."

Mark 10:43-44 says this: "Whoever wants to be great must first become a servant. Whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave. That is what the Son of Man has done: He came to serve, not be served--and then to give away his life in exchange for many who are held hostage."

Sweet Jesus, help me get that oxymoron concept through my thick skull! Help me relish in the fact that You are "great enough for the both of us!"