Relinquishment and Praise

I am going to muddy through these next paragraphs in an attempt to make sense of something...more for myself, I am sure. After reading the fabulous book, "Something More," by Catherine Marshall, three chapters spoke to my heart so personally that I needed to get down some thoughts. She wrote the book later in life, after much hardship, which included losing her husband at an early age and later losing two grandchildren. Her faith after these tragedies did not seem immediate, but more of a lifelong journey of increasing trust in the Sovereign One.

I have struggled with God's character and how it doesn't always seem to be on display in this fallen world. I know Jesus was all about healing and wholeness when he walked the earth, but seeing it as I walk the earth sometimes creates a discrepancy. I understand that we live where Satan rules, but seeing God's Lordship even in this is hard for my feeble mind to grasp.

I think this dichotomy is where God wants to meet us. He wants us to know that he is for health and life, but He also wants us to see Him in our illness or tragedy. He wants us to come to a place where we recognize His Lordship over it. Marshall says, "Disease is of Satan's kingdom, but God had allowed it for me. Blame it on Satan I might, but see God in it, I must." We have to surrender, to relinquish our supposed authority over our lives and those we love. We must bow down to the One who created us in the first place.

It isn't easy to recognize God's authority in every situation. Illness. Abortion. Suicide. Just because God isn't for these things doesn't mean that He isn't Lord over them or will use them for His purposes and glory.

Marshall quotes Matthew 10:29-31..."Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? And one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear ye not, therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows." Amazing concept: she says the Greek word for 'without' implies an emotion much deeper than sympathy or empathy. It literally means that a sparrow won't fall "without the Father's participating presence."

I had to ponder that one for a bit. Anguished over my sister being all alone in her last hours of life, the Holy Spirit whispered that she wasn't alone at all. He was right there with her...his participating presence never left her side as she left this world into the next. In a vain effort to understand "why" he would allow this tragedy, I have finally relinquished my right to know. He was Lord that day with her. Marshall says, "Therefore, nothing can happen to us without His knowledge, His consent, and His participating Presence as Savior." It would only lead us to conclude that God is in everything. I have felt frustration and guilt that my prayers for my sister were not enough. They failed her. My relinquishment to accept God's Lordship over the most horrific day of my life has stripped away the condemnation.

Unfortunately (for our pride), relinquishment isn't where the journey ends. Marshall says it is only a "stopping place on the way to praise." Umm, I am sorry, can you say that again? "Praise." Tears are pooling up in my eyes as I think about this. Could it be that he actually wants us to praise Him for the biggest hurt of our entire lives? It sounds simple enough, I mean, Paul said to give thanks in everything, for this was God's will. But, why does it seem so hypocritical to utter vain words of praise, knowing that our hearts do not really reflect those words? Marshall says, "Obedience means turning your back on the problem or the grief and directing your eyes and attention toward Me. Then I will supply the emotion to make the praise real."

Could this be the "missing link" in my Christian walk? Should I really have been praising him for the roaches that were in my garage? Praising him for the fact that my son was having a hard time with potty training? Praising him that our financial situation was so dire for so many months? Praising him that my sister died that day? What if God "steps into unhappy or even disastrous situations in our lives when we thank Him for the situation itself?"

The Bible often talks about us offering up a sacrifice of praise. This concept would totally make sense in this light. It isn't a sacrifice if it doesn't cost us something, right? Quite often that sacrifice looks like giving up what we think we deserve. Self pity has no place in a tabernacle of praise. God and His perspective can finally reside instead. If we are able to praise Him for everything, wouldn't this be the supreme form of faith? And if God inhabits the praises of his people, wouldn't praise be the quickest way to his heart? The quickest way to see a turn around? The quickest way to healing and wholeness? The quickest way to answered prayer?

So, I have started a little experiment. Praise. I am going to try it in all things. I may not believe the words as I am speaking them, but I will trust God to supply the emotion. I have already seen Him work miracles! I started praising God that my son wasn't figuring out the potty thing. Guess what? He goes now...by himself whenever he needs to. I have started praising Him in other things and starting to see a harvest as well.

I am not belittling all that you or I have gone through. Do you have a wayward child? A hopeless marriage? Only $100 in the bank account? Ravaging cancer? A boring and tedious job? God's participating presence is in it all. Will we choose to praise him anyway? I think Satan will do everything to hinder us from reaching that conclusion. May God give us grace to do otherwise.