Guest Writer Monday!! Introducing Kelli

Let me introduce you to Kelli. She is my sister in law by marriage, friend by heart, and mother to my only niece. She can sing whatever you put in front of her, write whatever needs written, and impersonate anything in the world. God has gifted her greatly and she is going to share her gift of writing with us today. I hope you are all blessed by her words and for goodness sakes, leave the gal some comment love! Happy Monday!


Knock My Socks Off, God

I confess that I’m entering 2010 in a bit of a dry spell spiritually. It’s nothing dire or desperate – I merely feel tired, fatigued even, and I am in desperate need of refreshment deep within my soul. It’s something that I let happen. I chose to ignore the spiritual thirst that grew by almost epic proportions the last few months of 2009. It was a plateau that I knew I was on, but I allowed laziness and business and life to pull me ever farther down the path.

And so I find myself now seeking God with a new fervor. I’m longing to be in His presence; to feel Him near me. And not in a givemewhatIwantGod sort of way. It’s more of a feeling that I just need to know He’s there. I need to sit still and just breathe deep.

I am not good at sitting still. Seriously – unless I’m lying on a sandy beach with the hot sun pelting down on me, I rarely ever stop long enough to be still.

That’s just further confirmation in my mind that we need to relocate to Florida – God’s country. Just sayin’…

Anyway, these last few days I’ve found myself timidly approaching the throne and begging God to show Himself to me. I even uttered the words, “Knock my socks off, God,” the other day. I did so with great reverence and trepidation.

Do you guys ever do that? Do you pray for God to move in your life, then open one eye and look around anxiously? No? I’m the only one? Oh…huh…

It’s silly, really. But I sometimes fear that by asking God to show Himself to me means that something bad is going to happen and I will have to learn to lean on God in a way that I’ve never had to before. It’s why I get scared to pray boldly. Because really, what I’m hoping deep down when I pray, “Knock my socks off, God,” is that He’ll do so by raining down mighty blessings from heaven.

As if He hasn’t already done that in my life. (eyeroll)

But, you know, I want the good. I don’t want any bad. I don’t want any pain. I don’t want heartache. And I fear that somehow my bold prayer means I’m going to have to endure hardship.

It’s such a selfish way to pray. When I read over the words I’ve just written, I’m reminded of Job talking to his grieving wife. A woman who had just buried every one of her children. A woman who was in the pit of heartache and despair – whose hands were still caked with the mud and grime of her children’s graves.

When, in her grief, she lashed out at her husband who was also deep in the valley or grief and was now covered in painful boils and sores inflicted upon his body in yet a second test. And despite his heartache and pain, Job was able to see clearly and speak wisdom to his wife.

“Should we accept the good from God and not trouble?” Job 2:10

What I’m really doing when I allow such fear to taint my prayers is telling God that my trust in Him has boundaries. I want to see you move, God, but only do so in the good. Don’t bring about any bad because I don’t trust you enough to reveal yourself to me in the valley.

In addition to revealing my complete lack of trust, I’m also showing my immaturity in the fact that I’ve put God into such a box as to believe that He is waiting for this cosmic moment when I tell Him I’ll trust Him just so He can pour out heartache. As if God only moves in the hard times.

It’s selfish and immature. And I publicly confess that.

And so I’m making a concerted effort to pray boldly and without fear, “Knock my socks off this year, God.” And I’m training my mind not to pray that prayer with any preconceived notions of how He might do that. Perhaps He will simply open my eyes to sin that needs to be dealt with. Perhaps He will restore relationships that need to be restored. Perhaps He will give me the strength to endure a hardship or the grace and humility to accept blessing.

Or maybe, just maybe, I will experience a renewed passion and thirst for Him that no one but He and I see in the stillness of our moments together.

That would be a beautiful, glorious thing yes?

So I challenge you, as I challenge myself, to pray boldly for the Lord to reveal Himself to you this year. And do so without assuming that you know how He will answer this prayer. May it be refreshing to let go of those preconceived ideas of who God is and how He works.

Knock our socks off, God.