11. I can hardly believe it!

11 years ago at this moment I was at the hospital wondering if I was truly going to survive the day.  Countless women had given birth and lived to tell about it, but I had my doubts.  What if I couldn't handle the pain?  After the pitocin (gotta love inductions) I wasn't progressing far enough to get an epidural and my pain got pretty bad.  Bad enough that the nurse kept coming in and telling me to be quiet because I might be disturbing the other patients.  Ha---now that made me mad!  

After being at the hospital for 10 hours, I fell in love.  With Cade Benjamin.  How a fella only weighing 7 pounds, 15 ounces can strip your heart bare is beyond me.  But he did.  He still has my heart.  He only shares it now with a couple of other hooligans...and of course, his Dad.

Being a new mother was the most precious gift.  I was fairly confident since I had younger siblings.  What I didn't realize then that I now treasure is the amount of precious one on one time you receive with your first born.  I didn't work, and so we would spend countless hours reading and playing.  I would dress him up for a walmart run so the old ladies could ooh and ga over how adorable he was...most thought he was a girl despite his blue overalls and bib that stated, "Thank Heaven for little boys."

He didn't talk for the longest time and while others seemed to be anxious about that, I never seemed to worry much.  I knew he was really smart.  Even now when he talks, he seems to choose his words wisely and doesn't talk just to be heard.

One of my favorite times was when he was about one.  He had little red Keds sneakers that he would don without socks.  I remember putting his high chair outside so I could sit him in it for a haircut.  I remember his first birthday party like it was yesterday.  I could even tell you what I was wearing and who attended.

He is now 11.  I can't wrap my brain around that.  I can remember being 11, for crying out loud.  He is entering the ages when he will remember things more clearly as he ages...these years are formative for how he is going to do this thing called life.  I pray to God Eric and I model that well for him.  I pray he refrains from peer pressure.  I pray he isn't teased for being such a sweet and naive boy.

When I think of my firstborn, pride seeps out.  It isn't a pride that says, "hey, look at how awesome my kid is."  Instead, it is a pride that says, "wow.  that is my son.  what a priceless gift God gave...I couldn't be more proud than to have this chance to mother him."

Cade is a very dependable and reliable little man.  He never complains when I ask something of him.  He sometimes does what I want done before I even think to ask it of him.  He is a huge help to our household.  He will be a great leader to his family one day.  He has respect for all around him and treats the lowly with love.

He is smart enough to be a doctor.  He is leader enough to be in a position of power.  He is loving enough to go spend his time caring for orphans in Africa. 

It will be fun to see the story that God has already written come to fruition in his life.

But, right now, that story includes 8 more short years under our household.

Excuse me while I go bawl now.

The above is his very first dance.
I know the years to come will bring a lot of firsts...just like the first few years of his life.