Eric held my hand and prayed last night. He prayed for many things like direction and guidance. Favor and protection. Long desired desires to finally be brought about.
And then he shocked me a little. He prayed that I would feel significant.
How did he know that I have felt small and useless? I certainly haven't whispered to him that many days I feel like I amount to the grand total of a tipless taxi driver.
Many days, I long to enter into my true purpose. But, then I wonder if I am there. I know the Clay shouldn't tell the Potter what to do or even to question what He is forming. I guess this heart just wants to know that it is still on the Potter's wheel.
Deep inside, I know we all never leave the care and the forming from the Master's Hands while on the wheel. I am daily shocked that His Glorious Divinity chooses to enter into our human mess of mud and clay.
What if it is true? What if Satan comes to steal and kill and destroy not just us, but everything that the Potter intends us to be? What if the Enemy comes to steal our art? Steal our very heartbeat for a passion for this thing called life?
That post link up there, the one that resonates so deeply, makes me realize what my soul is longing for right now: a legacy. I am almost 35 and I want my life to mean something deeper than it does right now. Is that pride or is that God calling me to something for His glory?
It is a wrestling match around here, that is for sure.
If I am putting off what makes me tick, what makes my heart pound for joy, what makes me me, then the Enemy is winning. I can't stand the thought of that.
{Come create, Potter. I am consecrated clay in your hands.}
3 comments:
Becke, I am right there (here) with you. No coincidence, another blog I follow just posted about this same topic of feeling (in)significant in God's purpose. He is the director of children's ministry at our church...randomtim.wordpress.com
Give him a read when you have a few minutes.
This resonates. I think what we need to remember is that sometimes we have to step out n faith and take chances with our art - something us creative types don't love to do. As much as Satan wants to steal it, God wants to bless it. But we have to believe that He will and hold it out. Scary? Yes. I am praying for your art to shine!
I like that post, Big Sis. Thanks for sharing it!
Becke'
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