Blogger's Block

I have a serious case of Blogger's Block. I just haven't known what to say. I could tell you that a huge tree fell on my grandparents' cars during the ice storm. I could tell you that I started the Esther bible study by Beth Moore and it is going to be fantastic. I could tell you that I got a ginormous amount of free jewelry the other day by hosting a Premier Jewelry Show. But, like I said, I have Blogger's Block.

What I really want to do is go outside and take pictures. But, the weather is BLAH! I can't wait for the first signs of life to appear so that I can be right there to capture it!

My friend lost her Mom to suicide and it has hit home. When I found out, all of the same emotions rushed through me as if it were happening all over again. Shaking body, sweaty palms, complete loss of breath, tears brimming over, inability to think a complete thought, nausea, immediate neck pain, and all of the other symptoms that my body brings forth when the "S" word is mentioned.

I hate hate hate the road that is before her. I would take it away if I had any inkling of power to do so. But, God's ways are not our ways and sometimes in the hurt is where we best find Him. Please pray with me for her and the family...not so much that the "Why" would be answered, but that God would reveal his Glory and heal the hurt.

However odd that it sounds, it was a good feeling to be able to be with her some, knowing her heart exactly and knowing that our shared experience would knit us together forever.

It is two weeks exactly til Kiley's one year anniversary in Beulah Land. And I have never longed for my real home as much as now. The time has been slow and then fast at the same time. It feels like it happened yesterday and yet it feels like forever ago...my life was marked in such a way that I will never be who I was before February 13, 2008. Although my burden is gone, I wonder if my life will always be marked by having tears right at the surface, ready to spill forth at any mention of her name or mention of anyone else's sadness. I used to think of myself as a compassionate person, but I have learned that the more hardship you go through, the more you are able to feel what others are going through...and better able to pray with them and encourage them.

So, change of subject: I am now on Facebook. I can hardly believe it. My brother coaxed me into it. It is his fault. Considering the fact that I hate talking on the phone, this only feeds that weakness. Oh, well. It has reconnected me with tons of people from high school and college. It is great fun to see how many kids people have and what their lives look like. It has also reawakened the part of me that loves to pray for others.

Today has been great fun. (Except for my snot fest in writing the above regarding Kiley.) Eric took Sam and I to Stoby's for breakfast. Yummo. We hit Target over and then drove around before getting the Ya-Ya Man. I later got to meet my friend, Kim, who was in town, for lunch. We put the hurt on the chocolate chip pizza at Pizza Inn. But, I didn't just tell you that because I am eating healthy these days. I am sure that I will be eating healthy at Chang's tonight, as well.

Target has some very fun spring stuff out. I need some new shirts to go with my fun new jewelry. According to my fashion sister diva, you should buy the accessories before you buy the clothes. Glad I am doing it the right way this time around!!

I have been immersed in books like crazy! I read "Kiss" by Dekker. Very good. I read "Freefall" by Kristen Heitzmann. Entertaining. I am about to read a book about Christian martyrs. I am sure it will be sobering. Not exactly what I want to read as it won't do any part in "entertaining myself to death."

On the way home from lunch today, Sam begged if we could go to the beach. I wanted nothing more than to turn that van south and DRIVE! That was one little boy request that I would be more than happy to fulfill! I finally told him we couldn't do that today. He next piped up with, "Well, can we go home and take a nap?" Now that is a great idea and also one that can be arranged!

Well, so much for Blogger's Block. I think I just wrote ya'll a book! Have yourself a happy weekend, now, ya hear??