He Will Cover You With His Feathers

Two years. What do you say?

At first, I was just going to repost what happened last year when I visited Kiley's grave. It is a remarkable story of God's active and loving presence in our lives. I think it points to His glory in a beautiful way, and you can read it here.

But, just like a year ago, God had his own agenda.

One year later, I found myself in the same place after that meeting with God. It was even a Thursday afternoon again. I hadn't planned this meeting either. In fact, I hadn't even planned on going to the grave site by myself. I was just going to wait and go with my parents in the next day or so. But, while driving to town, I guess God had other plans.

When I pulled up to her spot, this first picture is what I saw. I didn't know what to make of it, except that it seemed peaceful and gave me some comfort. The marker with the white cross is Kiley's burial site. It looked like the Canadian Geese were headed straight for her place. It seemed odd to me that I didn't see any other Canadian Geese anywhere on the grounds.

As I got to her site, the geese walked away. I once again found myself on my haunches. Last year, because the ground was wet. This year, because snow was everywhere. The bitter chill was a fitting reminder of my heart's loss and ache. Trying to balance the heavy camera around my neck and the Bible on my legs was a site. It was almost even funny. I couldn't decide which would be worse...getting my camera wet, the Bible wet, or my rear end wet. Thankfully, God blessed this "LuLu" with a little balance in those moments, and all were saved.

I wanted a profound word from God, but He pointed me to something familiar instead.

Philippians 4:13: "I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

Sometimes I know a verse so well in my mind that it is hard for it to speak to my heart anymore. I often read the Message version at that point in order to see if God can speak something fresh to me.

"Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am."

God was reminding me of His faithfulness these past two years. But, He was also speaking to my heart that has been wrestling with fear these past few weeks. Fear of financial drought, fear of photography, fear of singing, fear of having nothing to offer my Savior, and fear of losing another loved one to death.

I know better than to say that nothing bad will ever happen again. But, I was reminded in that moment, that I can make it through anything in the One. The Compassionate One. The Gracious One. The Healing One.

I waited as long as possible to see if God had anything else to say, then left. The next couple of days with family was a special time for me and well needed. We later added some bright and cheery Gerber daisies to Kiley's site, hoping the splash of color would bleed over into our hearts, as well.

After returning home, I decided to edit some pictures. It was here that God decided to reveal what He wanted me to see concerning the geese over Kiley's grave. I was actually editing a picture of a duck's feathers when it hit me upside the head.

"He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear..." (Psalm 91:4-5a)

In the picture below, the geese's feathers are directly over her place of rest. In Heaven, Kiley is perfectly safe under her Father's outstretched arm.

I know that God wants me to see that the same is true for me. I can find a refuge from fear under his wings because his faithfulness is a shield.

Our hearts are like broken pitchers, Kiley. But, we are trusting Jesus to put the pieces back together in His timing. We miss you and daily cling to the four letter word we have come to know as hope.