Eric and Eli were in soccer camp in Jackson, MS. Barbara had joyfully agreed to watch Asher and Sam so I could take Cade to his state baseball tournament in Benton. It was going to be a hot one and I didn’t want to worry about the littles dehydrating. Plus, I thought it would be much more fun to actually watch baseball instead of the toddler.
After mapquesting and taking a wrong turn, we made it to our baseball destination. Travel ball isn’t so fun when it’s the directionally challenged Momma that’s navigating. But, all looked brighter once my tent was set up and the slight breeze tempted me to believe that the projected heat index of 103 degrees wouldn’t soon be suffocating us all.
While the team was warming up, I thought I would quickly check Facebook. It had just been announced: The Supreme Court ruled that gay marriage would be legal in all 50 states. I expected it. What I hadn’t expected was the way my heart would plummet to the dirty concrete below my feet and pulse to a painfully slow cadence.
I texted those closest to me and called my Mom. We mourned with real tears and lamented the loss of our nation that had been founded on Godly principles. In one day, five men declared themselves God as they rewrote God’s definition of marriage found in Genesis.
I have yet to get my heart back into my chest.
All day long while at the ball field, I would check my Facebook feed to see what the Godly watchmen of our nation were saying. Franklin Graham, John Piper, Kay Arthur, Joel Rosenberg, Ken Ham, Mike Huckabee, and many others boldly declared truth and refused to back down on what this ruling was: a slap in the face against God Himself.
All the sudden my Facebook feed became alive with the colors of the rainbow. What once was a sign of God’s promise that He would never again destroy the earth by flood was stolen by Satan and twisted into something that goes against God’s perfect plan. Since Satan can’t create, he is always stealing God’s things and turning them into something evil as he tries to snatch away God’s glory. True allegiances came out into the open on June 26, 2015. When the White House of the United States of America was lit up by rainbow lights, I curled into myself, trying the grasp the reality of what had just taken place on this day. The best thing I could wrap my thoughts around was that our Democracy was no longer held together by moral principles. Sure, we had been plummeting, but this was the day that our identity had been stripped away. When I saw the picture of our United States Embassy in Israel flying the Pride Rainbow flag just below the American flag, I came undone.
So, this is who we are now.
I have never been so ashamed to be a part of the United States of America. My heart is grieving, as if I tangibly lost someone I love dearly. If I had sackcloth and ashes, I would don them and wail out to my God that we have betrayed. Herb Stuart’s favorite verse was that “God will not be mocked.” We think we can make up our own rules and not worry about the consequences of a Holy God. I am sick to my stomach thinking about what kind of judgment will fall.
When Cade climbed into the van, I was torn on what to tell him. He needed to hear it from a parent, but he still had a game to play and I didn’t want him to be distracted. I went forward. I couldn’t get the words out without choking up. I told him this was a monumental day in history and that I didn’t know what the future would hold for him, now that our leaders have legally turned their backs against God’s perfect ways regarding marriage and family. I tried to convey how there would quickly be a separation of God’s true church and those that just worship with some form of religiosity. The dividing line would be between those that believed the Bible was the inerrant Word of God and those that didn’t. I told him that courage and boldness and truth would be needed in the future days and that persecution might be ahead.
In that moment, looking at my fifteen year old, I knew that he would quickly have to become a man. Gone were the days of trying to shield him from the world. The world had come to him. He would have to be a warrior, standing for truth and having the wisdom to see when Satan is telling lies.
Troubling questions swirled around in my head all day. Will my photography business be shut down if I refuse to shoot a same sex marriage? Will our pastor lose his job if he refuses to marry a same sex couple? Will this be the final blow that moves our nation towards the wrath of the Almighty? Will persecution come slowly or rapidly for the true Bride of Christ? Persecution is inevitable when the right to sexual orientation now trumps the right to the first amendment. I can already see my freedom of speech and freedom of religion lying bloody and dying a slow death on Satan’s cruel battlefield of so-called equality.
In my mind, I saw a quick spiral that legally allowed all sexual perversions. If homosexuality (a God ordained abomination) is celebrated and flaunted on the columns of the White House, then we will quickly see all forms of perversion such as exhibitionism, pedophilia, incest, and bestiality rise to that level as well. Once sin is celebrated, there is no line anymore. If we are free to completely express ourselves, and hold ourselves to no standard, then we are an undone people. Implosion is upon us.
In the book of Amos, God shows the prophet a plumb line which measured a building to see if it had tilted so far that it was beyond repair. The plumb line showed Amos that Israel was so far gone that collapse was inevitable. I can’t help but wonder if the United States is too far gone for a great awakening and repentance. If and when our President and country turn our backs on Israel just might be the moment of collapse. Implosion.
The one thing that was absent from my thoughts and emotions on June 26, 2015 was anger. I am not angry at the homosexual community. I have homosexual friends that I have prayed for by name for many years. To claim that I hold different beliefs, therefore I hate, would be a false assumption. I have different beliefs, therefore I love. I show that love through begging God for an extension of mercy towards my friends…the same mercy that was offered to me. If I proclaim, “Live and let live or love and let love,” then it isn’t love at all because it only excuses my complacency and takes away the need for a Savior. True love never condones or celebrates sin, but points to the One who can forgive, restore, and rescue. True love says, “I was just like you, dead in my transgressions, but there is a better way!”
Over the weekend, I have been washed over with the reality of God’s grace on my life.
How sweet the sound.
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now am found.
Was blind, but now I see.
I have such a beautiful picture of this grace that I was dipped into. Somehow, I was soaked in Christ’s blood and came out sparkling white. The God of the Universe didn’t have to give me eyes to see, but He did. Such love. Who am I to be included in the plan of redemption? Who am I to be rescued from the wrath of God?
This grace is extended to all who call out on the name of Jesus to rescue them from the deep pit of sin. There is still hope. There is still the gospel. There is still true love. His name is Jesus. What will the church do with Him in these last days?