Thursday, May 26, 2016

The Slow Die

Having a blog with a very small readership is a plus in many ways. I don't feel obligated to post all the time.  I don't feel like I need to do something fancy in order to keep my audience.  And, I feel more freedom to post whatever is on my heart because this place feels secure.

Today, I want to talk about our nation.  Starting last June, God starting talking to me about the United States of America.  He hasn't stopped.  I want to do a small recap of what He has been saying and then talk about what may be on the horizon.  The title of this post is "The Slow Die" and hints to the grief I have felt since last summer.  I literally have felt like I am watching someone die (like I did with Herb.)  I frequently burst out into intercession and tears, all the while feeling like death is inevitable.  (At least the death of what we as a country used to be.)


1. Amos and the plumb line (God said our nation is so far out of the true vertical that the collapse could not be prevented.)  God showed me these verses a couple of days before the infamous marriage ruling.  A key verse in Amos 8 says, "The long summer of God's patience has finally come to an end and there has been no harvest of repentance." God's heart is always that we would repent so He can relent from sending judgment.  This is His heartbeat, but one year later, we have still not repented.

2.  God punished the own apple of His eye (Israel) for her transgressions in order to purify her. No nation is exempt from this.  For some reason (arrogance, I suppose) we assume Americans will never experience judgment.  We are sorely wrong. 

3.  The words "war, famine, and disease" have been on my heart for this year.  I never realized it until this year, but when David ordered the census and then repented, he got to choose his own consequence, which was war, famine, or disease.  He wisely chose to fall into the hands of the Lord and not men, for He knew God was merciful.  The Lord sent disease.  (Lord, let us fall into your merciful hands and not man's.)  See 2 Samuel 24

4.  I've had the image (in my mind and through an actual experience) of glass shattering, breaking into so many pieces that it is beyond repair. 2 books of the Bible (Jeremiah and Isaiah) allude to God breaking the people like pottery so they cannot be made whole again. Without repentance, we are on this path.

5.  The handwriting is blatantly on the wall.  Our sins are not even hidden anymore.  Instead, they are celebrated, paraded, and legalized. Our nation has been numbered, weighed, and divided.  (see Daniel)  Last summer, God searched our nation with lamps, showing us how ugly we were.  He showed us how far we strayed from His heartbeat.  We turned up our noses and declared that we want nothing to do with Him. We have forsaken the God of our Fathers.

6.  I've had the word "ruin" on my heart this year.  In Joshua 6, the Israelites went forward to attack the city, Ai, without God telling them to go forward.  They in arrogance, assumed they could win.  They did not.  Defeat comes when we go outside of divine instruction, which has the potential to end in ruin.  Guess what "Ai" means?  Ruin.

7.  God told me He would manifest Himself as the Lord of Sabaoth this year...the Lord of Hosts...God of Armies.  Another word is, Jehovah Tsaba, the Lord our Warrior.  Everything and every person belongs to Him.  He is God over the multitudes and will sway things exactly how He desires, whether it be man, beast, weather, or starry host.  He will show off His glory this year.  The question is this:  will we recognize Him if He comes as a lion instead of a lamb?

8.  God led me to study the metal "brass" in the Old Testament and its significance.  It symbolizes judgment.  (The good news is that all who look to the Son of Man and believe shall not perish!)


1. I look at our narcissistic Presidential options whose statements and lifestyles declare they have no need for God.  Judgment is here.  God has turned us over to what we wanted. Our own depraved minds have desired the options we have.  In His grace, early on, God offered us a righteous choice in Rubio (and a couple of other guys.)  (Righteous, not because he is perfect, but righteous because of the Savior's blood that covers him.)  We, as a whole, thumbed our noses at this option.  Thank you, Father, for graciously offering us a good choice.  Have mercy on us for flat out rejecting it. I believe the election is meaningless.  I believe there is no man or woman that can set us on the right path to America being great again.  The only thing that will make us great is the Holy Spirit of God moving on us in power so that we fall to our knees in repentance.  Jesus Christ is our only hope.

2.  Deception and deceit, deceit and deception.  The air is thick with so many lies, that I have to stay huddled in the only Truth I know, the Word of God.  Very few anymore have ears to hear and eyes to see.  We are the church that slumbers.  Wake us up from our selfish slumber, Lord!

3.  The absurdity of it all.  Boys in girls' bathrooms and the other way around?  I had no idea calling evil good would look so dad gum ignorant.  The real issue is this:  an attack on God Himself.  God created man and woman in His own image.  If Satan can confuse the issue or steal what God created, then the attack is on God Himself.  Satan wants the image of God obliterated from our nation.  This is what it all comes down to. 

4.  There is no shame.  We don't blush.

5.  If destruction comes, it is because we have not repented.  If destruction comes, then we need to see it as God's mercy, a last ditch attempt to have us follow hard after His heartbeat that offers life and not death. The worst thing in the world to happen is for Him to leave us to ourselves.

6.  The theme of division is heavy on my heart.  The Lord tore Israel into two parts right after Solomon's reign because he/the nation no longer walked in God's ways.  God raised up adversaries to do the work.  I keep thinking about Matthew 12:25 that says, "Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste; and no city or house divided against itself will stand." I see division in our land everywhere I look.  Sometimes, I wonder if this will manifest physically, in the land form, as well.  See 1 Kings 12

7.  We need to prepare ourselves for the fact that this election may not look like anything we have ever seen.  We need to be praying for the redemption and safety of the candidates.  We need to open our eyes and see the civil unrest that follows some of these people.  The hatred in our nation is only escalating.  Pray peace over our nation. Pray unity over our nation.

8.  We need to man the ramparts, so to speak.  We need to spiritually dress for battle.  We need to gather courage for the days to come.  We are at war, this is a fight against the spiritual forces of evil, not necessarily against flesh and blood.  Find a spot to sit daily with Jesus.  Know your worth in Christ. Do battle with your prayers!  You are the light in the darkness!  Your words have power! We must slough off the apathy that says that nothing is wrong!  Pray for eyes to see and ears to hear!

God longs to throw open the door and allow us to know Him deeper than we ever have before.  Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. Dig deep into His word.  Crush every idol.  Fear not; His blood is sufficient to cover you in all things. Jesus is enough for our sin-sick land.  Cry out to Him like never before.

There is a full reward waiting...choose Him above all things. I am reminding myself that He will never forsake me.  I am reminding myself that suffering is the shortest path to becoming like Christ.  I am reminding myself that all these swirling events will one day bring in the King of Kings and Lord of Lords to reign on the earth.

I would love to hear your thoughts about our nation and anything that God has revealed to you.  If you don't want to comment below, you can email me at

Monday, May 23, 2016

Like a River from Its Course

When I picked up "Like a River from Its Course," I didn't expect it to sear white hot into my soul.  After all, the story was not my own.  But, Kelli Stuart somehow made it mine.  Page after page, I smeared the paper with streaks of my own bleeding heart, a sacrificial offering to the beauty of story. The story refused to leave me pierced, though.  In the end, story is there, stitching up the wounds and gifting me with the word I dared to long for:  hope. 

Through my own story, I have found that suffering and joy always make the best dance partners. If I can make an incision into my own heart and let all of the joys and sorrows intermingle out into one grace swirled and bloody mess, then just maybe readers will get a taste of this Good Father who loves deeply.

Stuart does this beautifully.

While knee deep in the pages of WWII, I became each character, by some force outside of my control.  I am the fourteen year old, stripped bare and marched to the top of the killing ditch.  I am the soldier, doing the unthinkable in order to gain the elusive affection of my father.  I am the servant, throwing up my maggot infested rice.  I am the mother, wondering if I will ever lay eyes on my children again.

"Like a River from Its Course" is a roller coaster of an emotional ride that somehow left me quite satisfied. It left me better.

I couldn't be more proud of Stuart's debut novel.  She has a gift that only God above could ignite into flames. I look forward to what God births through her in the future.

Pre-order on Amazon today!

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

I am Gentile

I am Hagar.  I am servant.  I am cast out by my master, simply because I obeyed.  I am looked upon with contempt and dealt harshly with.  I am homeless, wandering the desert.  In all my affliction, who ever will be able to see me crying out in this wilderness?

God met me, the lowly Gentile there.  El Roi is my God, a God of seeing.

He tells me not to fear and points me towards the well of water.  He promises to be with my son and make him a great nation.

I am Rahab I am unholy enough to be labeled prostitute.  I am filthy, not ever capable of measuring up.  I am bold enough to deal kindly with the spies because I know in my heart the Lord has given the Israelites the land.  He is giving them my land.

I am offered a scarlet cord in order to escape.  I became part of the line that brought forth the Messiah.  I am the foreigner, now made family.  I am testimony that grace splashes over the sides of the bucket labeled Judaism.  Nothing can contain it.  All are free to worship Jehovah. 

I am Ruth.  I am childless.  I am widow.  I am foreigner.  I am hungry and wondering how I'll survive without my husband.  I glean the outer corners of the field, hoping for leftovers.

A kinsman redeemer takes notice of me.  I am now beloved.  I eat until I am satisfied.  There are always leftovers.  My husband speaks words of blessings over me.  I am the great grandmother of King David.  I am a picture of the greatest love story ever told.

I am
the unlovable
the ugly
the rejected
the overlooked
the unchosen
the bitter and weary and oh so exhausted because I am never quite good enough
the lost

A hand (ever so handsome) reached out and pulled me to His heart.  I lingered long enough for the old me to wash away.  It all changed.  The Love Story changed everything. 

Now, I am
the beloved
the beautiful
the accepted
the chosen
the peaceful and at rest and oh so relieved that another's 'good enough' covers me
the found.  Forever and ever found.

"Why have I found such favor in your eyes that you notice me--a foreigner?" Ruth 2:10