Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Beautiful Things

There is a CD out by Gungor called Beautiful Things.  If you are sick of Chris Tomlin and need something different, this band is your band.  Their lyrics pierce your heart yet leave you hope.  Did I just say I was sick of Chris Tomlin?  Nope.  Still love him.

There are some lines that point to God making things new and beautiful.  Again.  It seems to be a never ending process with me.  So I poured my heart out on the treadmill and begged Him to come and create something beautiful in me. 

I have been so restless and anxious.  I have assumed a "want to control everything" mindset.  I think that is partly to blame because I have had to take on a more leadership role in our family since Eric has been to London, China, New York and New York again just since June.  I think the other part to blame is that I want to know what is supposed to be happening in our lives for the next 50 years.  Well, I'd take the next year anyway.

I am not usually like this.  I am not sure why I am being attacked with wanting to rush ahead and figure everything out.  God obviously wants to be God and He just wants me to rest in His plan.  I know He'll reveal bits and pieces in His wooing way and in His time.

God showed me that I am like Elijah when he flees from Jezebel.  He fled without consulting God.  He did his own thing.  In my mind, I have fled and worked out my own plan.  It is time to just return to the day at hand.  Be here today, don't be in the fall or winter or spring of 2050 today.

I think I can breathe easier if I can just rest again. 

My sister in law Kelli and those kids of hers I adore are on their way here to see us!  Lee (Eric's bro) and Kelli are moving down to Tampa.  Part of me is sad that they are going to be even farther away and the other part of me rejoices because they are going to be on the beach!  Let's just say we have already invited ourselves down for the whole summer next year.  (Or at least til they kick us out.)  :)

Inside, I wanted them to move to Conway.  I want all these cousins to grow up together.  But, God has other plans and I have to rest in that.

My heart wants our boys to start making friends that they will have for a lifetime.  Eric and I both have friends from childhood and there is nothing like keeping in touch with people that knew your soul as a child.  My heart aches for that.  I don't know how he wants to bring it about...a neighborhood with kids, a like-minded family with boys our ages...not sure what God has in store.  But I welcome His plan!

So there you have it, a post of surrender. 

Maybe He'll come and create something fresh and beautiful.  Again.

1 comment:

Kirby said...

I love Gungor! Sorry I have failed to mention them to you and forced you to discover them on your own...