Monday, June 23, 2014


I opened the blinds to the bathroom window and stood, willing the moment to simply last.  The hot pink crepe myrtles had been kissed with rain and now danced in the golden last light of the day.  It was a moment that my heart needed and craved.  A moment of beauty.  I knew it would be fleeting like so many moments, so I willed it to last longer and stepped outside to take another peak.

Sometimes beauty just beckons. 

When those moments come, you have to place the crying ears-infected baby into your oldest baby's arms and leave the house. You promise yourself three minutes of beauty before it flees.

I flip flopped myself into the mud and questioned my sanity.  I tilted my iphone camera to the myrtle that beckoned and pressed the red button.  Captured.  For one moment in time, beauty was captured.  Remembered.

I tried to move my foot but came out of my flip flop.  At first, my responsible adult senses came flooding forth.  I just cleaned house.  I don't have time for this.  Another mess.  Why is the world so messy?  And then the glorious squish overcame any adult sense I had left. A huge smile overtook my frame and I found in myself something I had altogether forgotten about:  a child.

When was the last time I purposefully squished my feet into the mud? 

It is hard being an adult.  So much broken.  Broken marriages and broken dreams and broken bodies all begging for resurrection. 

As I suck down into the mire, I remembered that God knows our frame.  "For he knows our frame; He earnestly remembers and imprints on His heart that we are dust." Psalm 103:14

Even on my best day, I am simply watered down dust.  Mud.

What comfort that He knows our frail frame.  He knows it is hard to be us.  He knows our breaking points. He knows we are here one moment and gone the next, like the dandelion seeds at war with the wind.

In His covenant, He promises us something to help keep our heads afloat when the waves threaten our last gulp of air.  For those who fear and worship the One True God, His mercy and loving-kindness are from everlasting to everlasting.  Earth.  Heaven.  This home.  That better home. Those beautiful and comforting attributes simply won't stop, even when our hearts do.

I am but mud.  But God...

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