I am plopped on the top bunk trying not to bang my head or completely lose myself in the wad of covers. It is the second born's domain and it is messy. I peer down the ladder at Eli and ask which stuffed animal he wants to take to the sleepover. The blankets are a given. He has slept with them for 9 years and a week; I know they are going into the overnight bag.
But, the growing boy surprises me. He shows me his desire for autonomy, perhaps
even a taste of manhood.
"I am
not taking any animals. Or my
blankets." I almost laugh out loud
and tell him the absurdity of not taking his blankets. I make it clear we would not be bringing him
blankets in the middle of the night and that it really is OK to hide them deep
in his sleeping bag for insomnia-induced-emergencies.
But, the boy, now small man, looks at me with
fierce eyes. "No. They are all staying here. They can have their own bunking party."
I feel in my spirit this isn't the right
choice, but I also feel in my spirit that it is time to allow this boy-man to
make decisions. Eli gets dropped
off. The animals and blankets are left
to themselves with the mess called his bed.
Things are going so smoothly. The back of my eyelids greet me and I feel a
deep sleep coming on. The sleep is perhaps
deeper than I thought, for I barely hear the ringing of my phone. I catch the end of the voicemail: Eli can't sleep. We are bringing him home.
I greet my sweet boy-man at the door and put
him to bed. Eric awakens the next
morning a little shocked that we have more children at home than we did the
previous night. In his wise style, he
pulls Eli aside and takes a reading of his heart. He fathers with grace and mercy and
understanding. I am overwhelmed at God's
goodness of giving me him to be their
Daddy.
"You
know, when I was a little boy...."
And off comes another story of his childhood. It cuts straight to the point. Eric
wants the boys to know that he was them once. He wants them to know that he knows their
hearts. He wants them to know that they
are accepted and cherished. He sprinkles
their hearts with grace instead of condemnation. I have so much to learn from the leader of
our home.
It is why I will always point all four of our
boys to their father. For one, Eric was
a boy and gets boys. Second, he is the
authority of our home. Third, he scoops
out mercy and grace as if he were putting sugar on plain Cheerios. {And those boys know how to lick up the
sugary leftovers once the milk is gone.}
Fourth, he can discern reality faster than I can. He knows how to cut to the chase and deal
with the underlying matter before the emotional drama ever rears its ugly head.
Eric often
reminds me of the father of the prodigal son.
He stands by, allowing his sons to start to choose their own way, but is
always in the background with arms wide open when they simply need to come
home.
No matter the circumstances, our God is always ready to welcome us home.
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