Tuesday, August 13, 2013

The Season of Rest

I just picked out one of my son's toenails from my eye.  While cutting his dirty toenails, one flung into my eye.  My EYE!!!  Just one of the joys of motherhood!

Onto other topics, I am not ready for our summer to be over.  It has not really felt like a summer, but we have enjoyed ourselves thoroughly.  We haven't gone on vacation or gotten to swim a whole lot.  Most days have been spent at home.  Cade and I do a happy dance when we go on our weekly trip to Kroger...simply because it means we get to get out of the house. 

We have slept long and stayed up late.  We have played spades galore.  We have made cookies together. 

Eric has been able to work from home a lot this summer.  In a small way, I felt like we were at a resort all summer, since we moved into a new home and everything felt fresh.  Sports took a back burner and we were able to have a lot of downtime of simply enjoying each other. 

It was a season of rest that God knew my heart needed.  His word is true.  I was weary and burdened and He brought rest.  The first 4 months of the year were filled with fear, fear, and fear.  I lived in constant turmoil that something was going to be wrong with Asher.  We also had a lot of decisions to make and yet nothing seemed to be pointing to the way God wanted us to take.  I was so unstable that I couldn't control the tears.  I would cry making supper, cry taking the boys to practices, and cry trying to fall asleep.  I wondered if I would ever be "myself" again.  My soul was writhing in absolute upheaval. Peace was as far away as it had ever been in my life.

Things started falling into place in April.  God graciously gave us a very healthy and happy baby.  He provided us a buyer for our home.  He gave us a new and spacious home. (Which was the only one on the market that fit our needs and was within our budget!)  May was an absolute blur.  Not only did we have a newborn, but we were packing up a house and dealing with end of the year events with school. 

About the second week of June, things felt settled.  Our new house immediately felt like home.  My soul could breathe.  I hadn't realized just how long I had been holding my breath.  We were later given more guidance from God about some decisions we were still needing to make.

God gave me the word "possess" for 2013.  I knew at the beginning of the year, that change was coming.  We have already had a baby and God has provided a new home.  The boys will be attending different schools this year.  I wonder what other change He has for us that is yet to come.  I am learning that He goes before us and all we have to do is follow in faith.

But, right now, in this moment, I praise Him for this summer.  It has been one of restoration and healing.  He has brought a season of much needed rest and downtime.  We have been able to enjoy Asher.  We have cuddled and bathed and fed and giggled with and tickled and rocked and taken silly pictures...all without feeling rushed.

It was a fear...that I would have this precious new baby and not have the time to enjoy him.  But, God has been so sweet to give us time for bonding as a new family of six.  I am brokenhearted that the boys will go back to school and miss seeing him all day.  I know Asher will miss his little entertainers for sure!  The word homeschool even entered my mind to overcome this...you know, for about five total seconds!

Things are about to get hectic again around the parts.  School is starting.  With that, comes three boys in three different sports.  Throw in Eric's work schedule and I am trying not to have a mental breakdown before it all begins.  But, I know God is faithful.  I know He provides rest to the weary.

This summer proved that.

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