Thursday, August 25, 2011

Dreams of a 15 year old girl

My hair was permed tight and I rocked the oversized shirt and leggings.  I couldn't even drive, but I had my life mapped out.

I found the proof of that this very morning (in old school typewriter form complete with white out, no less.)  (All the spelling has been left to protect the identity of the 15 year old.)

REBEKAH ASHLEY MARTENS WAS BORN ON JUNE 2, 19XX.  After that day she decided to become a doctor, so she asked her mom-Debbie what kind of doctor she should be .  Debbie said she should either become a gynecoligist or an obstretician.  Becke' wasn't sure if that's what she wanted to spend the rest of her life doing, so she asked her father-Jerry.  Jerry said she should to to CONNERS STATE COLLEGE.  Poor Rebekah KNEW that wasn't what she wanted!  So LULU decided to wait until she graduated to make her final decision.  After Becke' completed high school-she accepted a 90 thousand dollar scholarship to HARVARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ANYWAYS LULU finished college and became a pediatrician she then married a rich lawyer who loved kids!  They had twins-two girls.  Later we had a boy.  Then we decided that I better have a hyserectimy so we couldn't have anymore kids.  WE LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER BECAUSE I DIDN'T BECOME A COW WOMAN OR A GYNECOLIGIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I laugh and then I hear the undertones of a growing up girl who doesn't know what to do with her life.  She feels like everything should be mapped out.  She needs vision.  A plan.  She doesn't understand yet that God has his own story to weave from her life.  She can't even spell, but she knows that some sort of plan will give her a sense of security.  Identity.

Several years later, I laugh.  I am not a pediatrician.  Or a cow woman.  Or a gynecologist.  I went to small-town-USA college.  I am simply a mother.  A wife.  A daughter of God.  A woman who occasionally takes pictures for people.  I didn't marry a lawyer.  We aren't rich.  We don't have twin girls.   (I know who is laughing at that.)

But, in a sense, I am living happily ever after.  My contentment is in Jesus and Jesus alone.  Whatever blessings come after that make my cup runneth over.  Many days are hard, but I wouldn't trade the story that God is writing upon the pages of my heart for anything in the world.  I still struggle with wanting a plan and sense of security, but I rest in God's delight over me.  It is a priceless treasure, knowing that God is actively weaving a beautiful story out of me. 

He is doing it for you, too.


pbee ... said...

Thank the Lord that He doesn't answer every prayer with a yes, but knows what is best for us!

Erica said...

!! :) Masterpiece. and those never-leaving twin girls again! :) Knew I would love this post from the first sentence on.

Vanessa said...

Wow, I needed to hear that!! I'm constantly struggling with "needing a plan". Sometimes it is so hard to remember that God has a plan for me. Even when he shows me time and time again.

Fun read!!!!