Friday, October 28, 2011

You Are Safe Here

I've been wanting to tell you that since August.  I just haven't had the guts.  Because in the telling, I have to get a little personal.  And the personal isn't always pretty.

I was driving home from seeing my family.  All by myself, I had Joyce Meyer cranked up hungering for a Word.  Well, God was clear.  I wasn't going to be allowed to try and make a name for myself any longer.  He simply wasn't going to share His glory.  I told you the personal isn't always pretty.  Sometimes pride rises to the surface just as fat congeals on top of cooled meat.  Whether or not we let God skim it off is the real question, I guess.

I guess I should back up, though.  In my first year of blogging, I wanted so badly to get one of those "Site counters" they offer for blogs.  You use them to see who has visited and where they are from, etc.  I always had a check in my spirit and even though I knew countless other Christian bloggers who had them, I couldn't ever go through with it. 

Then, Blogger decided to incorporate some sort of counter/who visits info. into their own site, so I was off the hook.  Seeing who hopped on over to Moop and Saba was kind of fun.  It was nice to know that after investing hours into a bible study and writing about it, someone actually read it! 

I think stay-at-home moms can be tempted to want to make a name for ourselves as much as men in the corporate world.  We change diapers, fix countless meals, and fold underwear, all the while wondering if we have any worth.  Somewhere along the way, Satan tempts us with the desire to make a name for ourselves, even if it is cloaked in making God's name great.

{Jesus came to make Himself nothing.  Is that not the least I could do for Him?}

God told me I was no different than David.  You remember the story in 2 Samuel chapter 24?  David is King of all of Israel.  His army is powerful.  He has the Name of Yahweh on his side.  But, pride seeps in.  He orders a census, longing to know how Israel had grown and prospered.  He was transferring his trust in God to trust in numbers.  He wanted to take credit for the kingdom.

Perhaps it was just ambitious curiosity.  But, wasn't I just ambitiously curious?

As king, David knew Exodus 30:12 which doesn't say that taking a census is a sin.  But, it better be ordered by the Lord, because God is the owner of the people, not the leader. 

David was counting what didn't belong to him.  The consequences were harsh.  70,000 of the people died from a plague.

Moop and Saba is a tiny pinhead in the blogworld galaxy.  If God wants readers to come read, then He will direct them here.  I will have no part in trying to gain readers.  My prayer is that God will manifest Himself to me, and that He will give me grace to pen (or type) what He reveals.  If you are encouraged, then praise Him, not me.  I'd love encouragement along the way, just not praise.  I just want you to know that if I have learned anything in God's Word, then it is grace.  The purest form of grace.  There is nothing in this congealed fatty heart of mine that has done to deserve it.

Perhaps you want to surrender your blog to God's glory as well?

This prayer says it all to well...
and now I have chills because I wrote all this before I realized what her topic was for this very day.

Perhaps God is saying something to us all...

{May my only fame be that I bear your Name}

All the above is for me to simply tell you that you are safe here.  I love having you with me on this journey, but if you want to remain in the shadows, I am perfectly alright with that.  I am kind of a shadows girl myself.  God tells us that we can find rest in His shadow.


pbee ... said...

Love your heart for God. I read your posts as a devo when I get to work in the morning. Even if you don't have a new post, I go back to a favorite for a cool drink of water and a great start to my day. I was so afraid when reading today that you were going to stop blogging. Never, never!
Thank you, thank you.
You bless me.

Becke' said...

Thanks for that encouragement, pbee! It means so much.

Laura said...

I struggle with this very thing. As a matter of fact, I stumbled upon your blog when you used the David story in a comment on Beth Moore's blog one day. I was convicted to the core. (But apparently not enough to stop looking at the stats counter on blogger.) You truly hit the nail on the proverbial head-I want to know what I write, what I think God is trying to say through my measly words, is blessing someone else. But I find myself writing for an audience of many rather than an audience of One. I can easily tell which posts I wrote for Him and the ones I wrote for my own praise. Thank you for your words. Little did I know when I first found your blog that you just live right up the road from me-should've known you were a Hog fan! And just so you know, God is using your words for His purpose. God bless.