Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Taming the Tongue...or loosing it?

We sit in a circle, sad that one couple of our group has left us for Dayton.  We begged them to move to the beach instead, but Ohio was where God called.  So, we look at our James study, not willing to talk much, because the verses hit hard.  Apparently, our tongues are evil.  And we seem to know this truth all too well.

We sit and dare to talk about how each of us lets loose this evil through the tiniest of muscular appendages.  Sarcasm.  Gossip.  Slander.  Off color remarks.  Cursing.  Arguing.  Yelling.  Teaching questionable truths.  Flattering.  Lying.  Bragging.  Talking behind others' backs.  The list just wouldn't end.

And I sit silently because after saying that I like to fun-cuss on occasion, I am too proud to admit to any other ugliness that spews forth from my heart.  God is teaching me that holiness is beautiful.  Sometimes I am anything but beautiful.

In my silence, the Holy Spirit tells me that Satan uses my tongue for evil in a way that hasn't been mentioned.  The Enemy ties it up and binds it from speaking at all.  Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.  But, Satan seems to put a snare on it to keep it from speaking the things that are true.  Encouraging.  Uplifting.  Hope giving.  Praising.  Life giving.  Beautiful.

Why am I so terrified to praise my husband for obliging me by drying off inside the shower instead of outside?  He is doing it simply to make me happy and I can't even thank him for it. 

Be loosed, tongue.  Be loosed to speak eulogia (blessing) over others.  Be loosed for beauty and not evil.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

A new kind of therapy

Enter my age:  34.  Much too young to be told that you have the beginnings of arthritis in your neck.  But, at least it doesn't catch me off guard.  I have struggled with muscle tension, neck pain, and headaches since I was in college.  Unfortunately, it has gotten progressively worse...and I guess a dose of arthritis doesn't help matters much. 

I have prayed and sought help...trying to figure out why on earth I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders.  It seems that even the tiniest amount of stress goes straight to my shoulders and neck...radiating pain up into a killer headache as well.  I keep telling myself I am too young for this, but I guess everyone has a thorn in the flesh.  

I think grief over the years affected my posture.  It stole some confidence and courage and seemed to beat me down into a slumped position that says I can't face the cruel world.  I guess in a way, my shoulders simply gave up to the warfare.  But, that is just my spiritual take on things...since you know I have to have a spiritual take on everything.  :)

My beautiful and witty physical therapist has me under her care, though.  And she means to see me to some restoration of health.  Going in twice a week is a time challenge, but who knew that traction could feel like heaven? 

Out in the open, for everyone else to gaze upon my prone and helpless state, she told me she was going to get more aggressive with my neck.  As in, I am going to yank it off your head now, if I have your permission.  (Love you Erica!)  I told her to go ahead, but don't mind me screaming out in horror in front of all the other PT's and patients.  She continued with a more gentle regiment.  Apparently, she wants to keep her job and me calling for an ambulance in my decapitated state wouldn't aid her in this process.  HA!  (Trust has grown deeper and she yanks all she wants now.  The correct term is thrusting manipulation...sounds kind of like neck rape to a simple girl like me.)

In truthfulness, physical therapy has given me more motion in my neck.  Perhaps, even some healing.  I still get stiffness and pain, but as I try and improve my posture (which is so hard while reading, studying, etc.) I think I can start to avoid the really bad episodes of pain. 

Oh, and then there is the issue of weight lifting.  Erica is making me pump iron!  I secretly love her for this, because I needed someone to kick me in the pants and tell me to grab a weight or two.  The idea is that if I build up some muscle in the neck, shoulders, and back, then my sheer new She-Ra strength will keep me away from pain.  Or something like that.

So, today, I salute physical therapists...and praise God for giving me friends who are PT's...knowing I never would have gone to a stranger. 

Friday, January 6, 2012

Master Gardener

I woke up one morning after a hard week with two words on my mind:  Master Gardener.  I saw it there, with my eyes closed, the first letters of the words were in caps.  I knew Jesus was referring to Himself, but I didn't know what to do with it. 

So, what else would a Bible loving gal do?  Type "Master Gardener" into Google.  And throw in Spurgeon for kicks...cause right now, his sermons speak deeply to me.

The sermon that popped up has brought comfort and healing and release and hope.  It is sermon #1699 titled "Supposing Him to be the Gardener."  "Behold, the church is Christ's Eden watered by the river of life, and so fertilized that all manner of fruits are brought forth unto God; and he, our second Adam, walks in this spiritual Eden to dress it and to keep it; and so by a type we see that we are right in supposing Him to be the gardener."

Some key paraphrased thoughts...

Is it not amazing that God has planted a garden of righteousness and beauty in this sterile waste of a land where sin has corrupted everything in sight?

In this wilderness of sin, God has ordained his children to bring forth fruit and to create beauty and sweetness where thorns and thistle reside.

What patience of the gardener to look at what we could be with some tender care instead of plucking us up and discarding us with disgust.

If we have been planted in his garden, then we have duties...the first being joy.  He is as much a tender gardener to me as to the most beautiful and exquisite plant.  He cares for me in the same way and has special purposes for me...even if I am drooping and growing downward, he is going to make the best of me.

Another duty is to value and pray for His presence.  Only as He watches over us can we bring forth fruit and become who He created us to be.

Another duty is complete surrender.  We must yield entirely to Him.  A fruit tree is no judge of when it needs to be "pruned or digged or dunged."  "I would neither have will, nor wish, nor wit, nor whim, nor way, but I would be as nothing in the gardener's hands, that he may be to me my wisdom and my all."  I think that would be a beautiful way to start praying.  Submission is easy once we relinquish our rights as being the gardener.

The last duty is that of bringing forth fruit to Him.  Christ sacrificed all for us..."we are bound to reflect credit upon so great a teacher, upon so divine a name."

This next point has resonated so clearly with me:  if Jesus is the Gardener, then I am set free from crushing responsibility.  I often get broken hearted because nothing seems to flourish or grow.  I often feel the weight when I disciple and see no fruit.  I often take this as condemnation from the enemy.  If I am not the gardener, then this is not MY responsibility...this responsibility of what lives and what dies, what goes by the wayside and what thrives is not up to me.  This simple thought can save me from a multitude of anxiety.  I can continue to help Jesus in the garden, knowing that it isn't MY garden.  I can do the little He has put in my charge and leave the rest to Him.

I can also be set free from fear.  If there is discomfort and disarrangement, then it is the Gardener at work.  "He had been cutting, and digging, and hacking, and mess-making; and all for the good of the garden." I been pruned and clipped, but I can rest knowing it is grace.  All is grace.  Suffering bereavement, I can say that it is the Gardener who plucks his flowers.  He plants.  He has the right to gather. 

Our only hope lies in the fact that Jesus is the Master Gardener.  Master of Beauty and Kindness, we can expect Him to work out the best possible prosperity.  He will come and dwell among us and fill us with all the fullness of God.  We can't ever lose sight of the fact that one day, he will pluck up the garden as a whole and usher it up to a place where the inhabitants of the garden will be like the Gardener.

This is such a sweet sermon...if you would like to read it in full (and be blessed much deeper than my simple paraphrase) then it is here.  I like to print them out and savor them while I have the time.  Have a blessed weekend!


Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Fruit

It was Thanksgiving week.  I hadn't even been praying about it, but when the Holy Spirit whispered the word, I knew exactly what He meant.

Fruit.

I knew it was the word He was speaking over me for 2012.  Joy in 2011.  Sometimes joy cohabitates with grief, but overall, it was a joyful year.  And now fruit.

While sitting opposite one another and trying to keep our golden retriever out of dear husband's lap, we seem to have the same heart's cry.  We are crying out for growth.  Growth that might look like fruit.

At first glance, the word fruit seems positive, and I am sure that the actual fruit is.  The terror lies in what it takes to cultivate the fruit because I know there is no fruit without sacrifice.

I'd love to have the fruit of:

spiritual growth
understanding the Word
knowing God
loving others well
mothering with grace and consistency
coming alongside of Eric in a way that truly helps him
a powerful prayer life
a righteous home
healing (me in neck and Eric in cholesterol)
wisdom and discernment (to hear God's voice and follow)
peace no matter what happens
coming into my role and calling
and on and on...

Fruit seems like a broad word...I can't wait to see how God brings it about!  In John, Jesus says the Father prunes the fruitful branches so that they will be more fruitful.  My gut revolts at this idea because I know the stripping and cutting can be quite painful.  But, if bearing much fruit glorifies God, then I am game.  A year of glorifying God, now that sounds sweet.

I've spent the past week or so in complete surrender, recognizing His sovereignty and grandness.  I have no claim on what this year holds.  Lies from the Enemy threaten to tell me I know best, but such arrogance doesn't get me very far.  So, I hold my hands out in full surrender.  Perhaps by the end of the year, I will be able to recognize how God has filled those empty hands with something sweet...something fruitful.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

The Word of the Lord...

The Word of the Lord came to this person and the Word of the Lord came to that person.  Have you ever wondered what the first mention of "The Word of the Lord" is in the Bible?  I mean, God must have meant it to be a pretty special word, being the first time he uses that phrase.

In John we see that Jesus is the Word, and that He was with God in the beginning and that He was God.  So, in essence, when we see that "The Word of the Lord" came to a person, it is just as much Jesus appearing to someone in the Old Testament as it is God.  Now, I know they are one in the same, but for whatever reason, I feel like I know Jesus better than God, and this thought brings me some comfort.

So, obviously, God has already spoken to mankind before this first mention of "The Word of the Lord."  He has talked to Adam in the garden and asked him about his whereabouts, trying to get Adam to recognize the condition of his heart.  He has also talked to Cain and confronted him about his temper tantrum when God didn't accept his offering.  We also see God speaking to Noah when he tells him that he is going to be spared as He gives instructions for an ark.

So, why this shift to "The Word of the Lord?"  I don't really know the answer...but I have just one idea.  God first uses this phrase when he approaches Abram (before he changes his name to Abraham) in a vision.  It is Genesis chapter 15, the scene in which the Abrahamic covenant is introduced.  Abram falls into a deep sleep and the Lord promises land for the Hebrew people.  Since Abram is asleep, it is as if God is holding Himself to be the only one responsible for keeping the covenant. 

I think it is possible that the idea of covenant is what brings about this "word of the Lord."  If Jesus is the Word, then He is foreshadowed as the only One in the future who will bring about the New Covenant, the lasting covenant that only His blood could bring about.  Just like the bond of blood (by cut animals) the night of the Abrahamic covenant, so Christ's blood would become the blood required for the final covenant. 

So, are you ready to hear the very first words of "The Word of the Lord?"  I hope they settle into your marrow and linger, giving fresh hope for this new year and adventure that we are embarking on.

"After this, the word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision:
Do not be afraid, Abram.
I am your shield,
your very great reward."

How interesting that with covenant as a backdrop, God refuses that His children writhe in fear.  Covered in promise and dripping in red blood, He wants us to know that we have the very great I-AM on our side.  Not just on our side, but as our very shield to fight off the enemy.  And God doesn't stop at being our defense.  He is also our very reward. 

You don't need me to tell you the Hebrew word and definition for fear.  Chances are, you are living yare' on a moment by moment basis and don't need me to tell you that it means to be frightened, afraid...to live with dread.

I think I am there in so many areas.  Fear that someone may die this year.  Fear that I don't know what the future holds.  Fear that God will cast me from His presence because goodness knows I don't deserve Him.  Fear that God will require something of me that I just can't give.  Fear that things won't ever change.  Fear that things will change.

It is consuming and mind numbing, this fear.  And yet, in the backdrop of covenant, God wants us to know that He has come to shake it from us.  He is our shield.  He can even shield us from fear if we dare give Him a chance. 

Sunday, January 1, 2012

2011 in Pictures

From capturing friends helping us paint a rent house
to capturing my sister's bridal pics,
it was a fun year for the camera!














 The above photo is courtesy of Todd Owens Photography


 The above photo is courtesy of Todd Owens Photography










Here's to a new year of living color!

Happy New Year!

Hope 2012 is off to a fun start for you!  The boys kissed their cousins goodbye today.  They enjoyed the nice weather, the Wii, sleepovers, ice cream, Jump Zone, movie nights, and each other.  This first pic is Eric's grandmother with her six great grandchildren.


Eric's parents with their grandkids...





Wish they didn't live 14 hours away!  sniff.

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Remembering His Words {2011}

The Last Day of the Year.  You can usually find me stuck in the Bible on this day, begging for a Word that will go before me for the next year, but God has already whispered that word over me.

2011 was Joy.  It was a better year, with further healing and laughter.  But, it was also a year of new grief.  Silent ache.  The joy that I discovered was that in praising Him immediately, I avoided a detour of anger and despair.  The sorrow is real, but I trust easier, knowing that my definition of good doesn't always match up to the Master Gardener's definition.

It was a year where God's promise came true:  He promised to manifest Himself to me...the trade off was that He asked that I share what I learned with you...I hope His words of truth blessed you as well. 

As I reread some posts from 2011, I found that God was so good to allow me to know Him just a bit deeper.  And to fall in love with Him again.  Trust is such a day by day experience.  Faith is just a lifelong journey of learning to trust the Sovereign One.  Moment by moment.  Heartache by heartache.  Joy after joy.

I wouldn't expect you to sit and read all of these older posts...but I wanted to repost our God's faithfulness.  If any of the titles speak to your heart, maybe you can read and praise Him alongside of me as well.

How Joy is Found in the Progressing. {Satan knows that when we are stuck, we can't move forward into a new song.}

The Counterfeit {How Satan can't come up with his own ideas for glory, so he steals and tweaks the Glorious One's ideas.}

The Unlearning of Self Conceit {Will I ever be at a place of pure unadulterated humility?}

Dust to Dust {My rendition of my great-grandfather's last day of life...he left us a beautiful legacy.}

Her Tale of Two Cities  {How my view of sinful cities has changed thanks to a merciful God.}

When the Wilderness Ends  {We are in a fight.  Are we claiming our inheritance or letting the enemy keep it?}

The Gates  {The old Temple gates and their significance on new testament believers.}

Going Outside the Gates {My shock at how Jesus suffered outside the city gates and even more shocked at how he tells us to come where he is...outside the city...outside the comfort.}

The Day Mercy Triumphed Over Judgment  (A birthday post in honor of my late sister, a realization that all is mercy.  All is grace.}

Praying for Rain {Perhaps my favorite post.  My favorite new way to pray over myself and others.}

Courting Her Soul {Jesus is a Romantic.}

Allowing the Wheat to Fall  {My second new fave way to pray.}

You Are Safe Here {Why it is OK for you to be here.}

How Does One Feed? {A renewed realization of my calling and yet wondering what this calling is going to look like.}

Eyes To See! {Another favorite way to pray.  If we simply had eyes to see, then we would receive and everything would fall into place.}

The Double Portion of Sacrifice {After ache even though I was anticipating joy, the Holy Spirit laid this idea on my heart.}

Thank you sharing life with me in 2011.  Thank you for letting me share Jesus with you.  He is all we need in 2012.  He is simply all we need.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

The Best Gift

I love my Kindle and my 11 bottles of lotion.  I am excited about my favorite perfume and winter boots.  But this gift from my middle child is my favorite.  "I can't think of anything to do for you but love you."