Answers.

Let's get the hardest question over with first, shall we?

#1 Cassie asked me how Eric and I dealt with the loss of my sister with my boys...how much or little did we share with them.

In order to best answer this question, I thought I would share something I have previously penned:

"I must have been somewhat dramatic in receiving the news, because I noticed that my son Eli, age 5, had wedged himself between the front wooden and glass doors in order to provide himself with some sort of barrier and protection. I willed myself to calm down for his sake. Just because my innocence had left the building didn't mean that I was about to let his leave, as well."

I honestly don't remember telling my kids what happened. I don't know how they found out, if you want the truth. Everything is a messy blur from those days. A messy blur that won't quite exit my mind completely. I do know that Cade understood even then what had happened, because he told someone (me? his Dad? his Papa? it is a blur.) that there is not ever a good enough reason for a person to do what Kiley did. At the tender age of (then) 7, I think he had a lot of wisdom. There is always hope, but sometimes we can't see it for the darkness that Satan loves to make us think we live in.

My sister was a great aunt to her nephews. She played with them and doted on them. They loved their Aunt KiKi. Her death has opened up the door to many conversations about Heaven and what it takes to get there. Kiley trusted Jesus as her savior and she did an amazing job of letting the light of Christ shine through. 6 months after Kiley died, Eli trusted Jesus as his savior. After he prayed, he said he was ready for a new body. We said he would have to wait until Heaven. When we mentioned Heaven, he said he wanted to see KiKi more than anyone else.

We try to emphasize the fact that Kiley is ALIVE! She lives in a world that we can't see right now, but that we will go to very soon. We try to think of things that she might be doing with Jesus and those that are with her. On her birthday this past August, the boys begged me to call "Heaven" so they could talk to her. They know it is a real place and that she is very much alive and well.

I guess we are trying to remember her for her and not what happened that tragic day. It is a hard process, probably more so for the adults than the kiddos.

#2 Carol wants to know: "What is the hardest thing about your role as Mom?"

Right now, I would say the hardest thing about being a Mom is not living in guilt. It is so easy for me to second guess everything I allow or don't allow them to do. I can feel guilty over one too many McDonald's meals, too many movies, not enough reading, not letting them have the toys their friends have, and on and on...
I once heard that "Christ in me is the most adequate parent they can have, so quit beating yourself up." (Or something like that.) If I offer a home of discipline and unconditional love, all the while bathing them in prayer, I believe God will honor that. Now if I can just get Satan off my back regarding the guilt.

#3 Cheryl want to know if I have 4 or 5 siblings.

I have 4 siblings, so there are 5 of us total. Here we are:
Devin...Florida
me...AR
Kiley...Heaven
Kirby...AR
Amelia...AR

Want to know something funny? My parents didn't think they could have kids! After keeping foster kids awhile, they adopted my older brother and promptly found out they were going to have me. Then, God had three other blessings in store! I love big families and consider it a joy to have grown up in one.

Any more questions?