Invisible Muffins and the Invisible Lover of My Soul

In an attempt to make Sunday morning a little bit easier for all, I decided to make some blueberry muffins on Saturday night.  Eric quite often fixes us breakfast and I thought this would make things easier on him as he could cook up some eggs, reheat some muffins, and wham, bam, a healthy breakfast is served. 

I didn't really think to tell Eric of this plan, I mean the muffins were in a huge glass cake server...visible for all to drool upon.  They were sitting right in the middle of the counter top...really hard to miss since our counter tops aren't that large.

Enter Sunday morning:  I walk into the kitchen at 7:15, gearing up for Praise Team practice and I smell sausage and biscuits.  I throw a dumbfound look at the muffins on display and then cast a trillion looks at disbelief and anger at my sweet husband who was clearly serving us by whipping up some awesome breakfast.

"Uh, why aren't we eating the muffins I made?  You know, the ones I made for this morning?"  "Didn't you SEE those muffins?"

He responded with "No, I didn't see them until I got back from the grocery store getting the biscuits."

"Seriously, you didn't see the muffins there last night or this morning?  I mean, really, could they be on better display?  I mean, how often do I set out muffins on the glass cake server...it isn't like something that your eyes have gotten used to seeing."

{insert small argument where I later had to confess my anger and ask for forgiveness and tell him thank you for serving us breakfast even sans muffins where we agreed that the muffins would be quite tasty come Monday morning}

Enter Monday morning:  I walk groggily into the kitchen where I see bowls of cereal set out for the morning.  I throw a dumbfound look at the muffins and then cast a trillion looks at disbelief at my sweet husband and then I burst into laughter.

REALLY???

For some reason, those muffins had simply vanished from his site.

And that is exactly where I am in my spiritual walk..

Me walking...perhaps even on that road called Emmaus. 

And no Jesus.

Or maybe I just haven't been given eyes to see Him right now.

There seems to be a cycle in my life and I am just now starting to understand it and get a bit more comfortable with it.

He simply doesn't reveal Himself to me all the time.  I hate that.  I want Him desperately.  But, sometimes, He is building my faith, you know, the thing you need when you can't SEE.

My first inclination when this silent phase of the cycle starts is to check my life and start confessing sin.  This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I think it comes from a heart that believes that God isn't pleased to delight me with Himself.  Satan tells me that I am not worthy of knowing Him, and I get into a tizzy about what I can do to make Jesus feel near.

The righteousness of Jesus on my life is sufficient for God to reveal Himself to me.  And there is nothing I can do to make Jesus talk.  I can definitely invite Him, but I certainly can't make Him.

So, I need to learn to rest during these quiet times.  Keep reading the Word, even though nothing seems profound.  Keep praying even though I feel like those prayers are hitting the ceiling.  Keep living for the next time that Jesus falls fresh and reveals Himself in a beautiful way.

It almost causes me anguish when Jesus "vanished from their site" almost immediately after he revealed himself to the two guys from the road to Emmaus. 

He allows them to recognize Him and then poof, He is gone again.

Sounds eerily similar to my life, too.

I think Jesus is like a glass cake server full of blueberry muffins.  He is ever present, but we don't always have eyes to see Him.

Oh, Lord, give me eyes to see...and in between those glimpses of You, allow me to live in a way that still brings you glory.  I want to see You all the time, but I also see the need for my faith to be built when You remain silent.