Mrs. Z and the Wounded Heart of a Second Grader

This memory came to me yesterday when I was dunking chips into salsa while catching up with my sweet friend Kim.  Sam was entertaining Kim, telling all sorts of stories, the best being that he is going to have a baby sister and her name will be Emma.  {Whew, Emma is a step up from Nabie.}  At which Kim shockingly stares at me with a look that says, "why didn't you at least tell me you are pregnant???"

Once we got over that, she told me a story about a little girl that had been caught cheating.  Instead of the teacher dealing with the girl in quiet, she announced her failures to the whole class.  Might as well slap a bright red letter "A" on her chest and parade her in front of the whole town. 

When did we start to think that it is OK for the heart of a child to be called out in front of the masses?

From experience, I can say that it leaves damage.

My main memory of second grade involves one single incident.  It wasn't a good one.  Therefore, I can't look back at second grade with warm feelings. 

I was a very quiet student.  Shocker, I know.  I was content to do exactly as the teacher required because God forbid that I should mess up and get in trouble and have attention called to myself. 

But, I had a friend named Whitney.  And we were big buds.  And apparently, I did enjoy talking, just not in the confines of the classroom.  So, we came up with the biggest scheme that ever hit our 7 year old minds.  We would plan our bathroom breaks so that we could meet in the bathroom and discuss whatever our little hearts desired.  Which wouldn't include red-headed Rickie.  Because he was soooo last year.

I went to the bathroom first.  And played with the automatic water hand washing fountain which was so very awesome back in 1984.  Then she, the best friend, arrived.  And we chatted it up. 

And then we made our gravest error.  Second graders are only about 90 percent good at scheming.

We went back to the classroom at the same time.

And Mrs. Z was no dummy.  She called us out on it.

The problem was that our elementary school was the "open classroom" model.  That meant that there were no walls between the classrooms.  There might be bookcases to separate things, but if a teacher wanted to get the attention of all three second grade classes, then she could.

Apparently, Mrs. Z wanted to do that.

I don't remember what was said.

I just remember the shame.

And that to this day, I don't enjoy thinking about the second grade.

When did we start to think that it is OK for the heart of a child to be called out in front of the masses?

We say children are resilient.  But, in truth, they are extremely impressionable. 

I am not always the best at remembering this when it comes to parenting these three boy souls God has gifted me with.  I strive to do better.  When Eric and I want to discuss a disciplinary issue with a child, we won't do it in front of the other two children.  We need grace to see how this might can work in other areas as well.

We have little hearts to protect and nurture.  We want healthy hearts where truth can take root and blossom.

Not hearts that are wounded and shut down.

{and no, I am not pregnant.  don't believe the things that come out of 5 year olds.}