I have felt ridiculously close to Angie Smith and Nicol Sponberg these past months. You know them better as Todd Smith's wife and sister...he sings with Selah. When the music group Selah first started, Todd, Nicol, and another guy made up the trio. So, me saying I feel close to these ladies is like stating that Beth Moore is my best friend. (OK, she really is, she just doesn't know it yet!)
This has been a year of unexpected loss for my new BFF's and me. I know that is why I enjoy their blogs...it often gives a voice to my grief. Angie lost her baby girl right after it delivered and Nicol lost her baby boy at 8 or 9 weeks. The other day, I was listening to one of my CD's full of "updated" hymns and the "original" Selah group started singing the song "There is a Fountain." I started singing with them at the "Redeeming love has been my theme and shall be til I die." It struck me at that moment that we were now singing that line because it was all we had left to cling to. It was a God-moment and I was just thankful to be singing a song with my brothers and sisters in Christ...singing with those that had the same heart's cry as me.
On Nicol's blog, they posted a poem that someone wrote for them. It really ministered to me.
Please Be Gentle
By Jill B. Englar
Please be gentle with me for I am grieving.
The sea I swim in is a lonely one and the shore seems miles away.
Waves of despair numb my soul as I struggle through each day.
My heart is heavy with sorrow.
I want to shout and scream and repeatedly ask 'why?'
At times, my grief overwhelms me and I weep bitterly, so great is my loss.
Please don’t turn away or tell me to move on with my life.
I must embrace my pain before I can begin to heal.
Companion me through tears and sit with me in loving silence.
Honor where I am in my journey, not where you think I should be.
Listen patiently to my story, I may need to tell it over and over again.
It’s how I begin to grasp the enormity of my loss.
Nurture me through the weeks and months ahead.
Forgive me when I seem distant and inconsolable.
A small flame still burns within my heart,
and shared memories may trigger both laughter and tears.
I need your support and understanding.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve.
I must find my own path.
Please, will you walk beside me?
4 comments:
I love reading Angie's blog too. She is inspiring despite all the pain she's going through---or maybe because of the pain she's going through. That poem is touching. I hope I can be a friend like that for you. Please call any time you need to talk. Love ya!
I too feel like they're old friends from reading Angie's blog. What a blessing to be able to grieve and pray together as a body, though we've never even met!
Selah is my favorite!!!
I'm so glad their blogs bring you comfort. Sometimes when your grieving it's great to be in company of others who are grieving... let's you know you are not alone!
Becke',
That poem is beautiful. I continue to pray for you and your family.
Pam
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