Faith...God's Love Language

I just finished reading Philip Yancey's book, "Disappointment with God." He takes three "forbidden" questions we may have as Believers and dares to throw them out there and (try) to answer them. Is God UNFAIR? Is He SILENT? Is He HIDDEN? I have grown to realize that there seems to be a disparity between my concepts of God and the realities of life. Since God is unchanging, I guess my concepts need to be adjusted. This book explores what the Trinity has felt through the ages...God feeling continual disappointment and rejection from the Israelites, Jesus Himself feeling abandoned by His Father as he hung on the cross, and the Holy Spirit inside us who grieves every time we subject him to a choice that He himself would not have chosen. Yancey goes into how there is a difference between childlike faith and "fidelity" faith...the kind that trusts "when nothing works according to formula and all the Bible's promises seem glaringly false." Our faith means everything to God...you could call faith His "love language." I saw a sweet lady from our church named Mi-Seon the other day with her kiddos at the library. She was asking how our family was doing...she later said, "You know, your sister just wouldn't want to come back here." Then she said one of the sweetest things anyone has ever told me. She said that she thought my voice gets prettier and prettier (I sing at church.) I almost laughed...I really feel like I am losing some ability and range. She then said that life's experiences and our response of faith make our songs sweeter. She said she swore she could sing better now than when she wasn't a Christian. I almost cried...what a neat perspective. When I was in college, I had a cool roommate named Lora. We lived together for 1 1/2 years until I couldn't take her 2 am phone calls anymore (and she detested me getting around before 9 am.) Lora's beliefs were always in question for me...but she always commended her Mom on her great faith. Lora would tell me that I had "knowledge" of the Bible, but that her Mom had a deep faith. I was almost insulted, and decided to pray that my faith would have a greater impact on people than my knowledge of the Word. So, I think that is the journey I am on...God allowing my faith to be stretched and deepened. I think that "knowledge" is a much easier route. It doesn't seem to require as much heartache and suffering. But, I think that faith is the thing that God longs for from us. He wants us to get to a place where we cannot see or understand anything, and yet we still believe that He reigns, has not abandoned us, and really does love us. Oh, that I may truly learn how to love God as he desires.